I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
