dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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