Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
