Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
