you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
