every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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