): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize