if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So squirting runs in the family.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
