yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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