Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Randomize
