I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
vagina is talking i cant
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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