What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
