Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
