this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
