I wanna bring you to show and tell
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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