its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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