Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
