Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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