I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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