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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.

  (818): View more from California

  Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

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• (310): View more from California

  for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Still drunk, heading to class.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  It's 3 a.m. Dude

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him

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