if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
