No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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