I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
