Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
