even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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