very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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