He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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