my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
