i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
