so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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