hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
