I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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