oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
