Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wanna passion pit in your ass
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
