Pants 0. Shit 1.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
