Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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