also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
