Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
