nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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