i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
