I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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