I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
