thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
