end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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