I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
