It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
