I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
try to milk me bitch
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