Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You are a genius and a whore.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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