I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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