I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
