I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
