He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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