I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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