A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
