I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
