I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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