it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
