God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
